the wind rises electric.

riotsiren @ 2005-07-27T16:21:00

2005-07-27T23:23:09Z

/FINITE.

riotsiren @ 2005-07-27T11:27:00

2005-07-27T18:31:24Z

Everyone bitches about their lives too much. Not saying I don't, because I sure do, but Jesus Christ, some people need to stop being such drama queens over silly shit.

Like I am one to talk...but, allah and shit.

Teenage melodramatic bullshit hasn't changed any since high school. Even if it's not the same people, even if they didn't even go to the same school, your recycled friends will find a way to bring you into situations you will not want to be apart of.

Trust me on this.

High school is a mind set. Unfortuanately, I only know two people that are out of it. I am one of them.

But barely.

riotsiren @ 2005-07-24T14:23:00

2005-07-24T21:24:08Z

because i got high, because i got high, because i got high....

thinking of getting a different livejournal. not sure yet. we'll see.

riotsiren @ 2005-07-19T03:53:00

2005-07-19T11:00:34Z

secrets don't make friends.
they make enemies.

i am a murderer.

riotsiren @ 2005-07-16T03:16:00

2005-07-16T10:18:19Z

porcelain affair: it's just nice to know, that for some second people come back together and they forget about the bullshit and just reunite
porcelain affair: it's beautiful
hemp102: it seems to me that you wanna go away for a while and come back with somebody there waiting for you
porcelain affair: i just want to go away for awhile. and never come back.

one day, i am going to go to work. go to school. go see somebody. and never come back. start over.

i cannot wait for that day.

riotsiren @ 2005-07-15T02:36:00

2005-07-15T09:37:12Z

i am fucking tired of everyone relating to me.
i want to be a unique fucking snowflake.
i do not want to be a number, a statistic.

but that's all i am.

i am kristyn's superiority complex.

riotsiren @ 2005-07-11T01:04:00

2005-07-11T08:12:58Z

I write these words with my motherly intuition.

I hate the feeling of emotional apathy, where it's all so overwhelming you either give up or you cling to the one thing you can to make yourself have an identity. I cling to being an anthesis of someone who doesn't care, but in fact I do, but only a little. No, I don't care about anyone but me. How it effects me. That's all it's ever been about, is me. I'm not a fucking Mother Teresa. I am a martyr, a catalyst, for my own destruction.

I hate having feelings for people, because it makes me a vulnerable person, and I do not put myself in these situations often...

..or maybe I do. Fuck. Conor was a miserable experience. I'm just setting myself up for disappointment.

You live and you learn, then you make your mistakes and you learn again. But I don't live the way I want, I don't learn from the mistakes I make, except how to avoid them and learn how to warp them to favor my own needs, and even then, I fuck that up.

Does this mean I'm flunking? Do I have to repeat a grade?

I'm just an airplane diving down, I storm and crash without a sound; engines exploding silently out at sea where waves caress unstable egos.

riotsiren @ 2005-07-08T02:54:00

2005-07-08T09:57:16Z

But I felt covered in your whispered worship.
And as you passed out fast on my shoulder,
I imagined a child waiting so sad and still for his mom to arrive.

I really, really, really love The Good Life.

I'm okay right now. Sarah's party on Saturday. I just have this feeling it's gonna blow, but I really hope it doesn't.

I need a fuck buddy.

<3 K

riotsiren @ 2005-07-03T05:19:00

2005-07-03T12:21:31Z

I hate being awake when the sun comes up.
But it's all I ever do these days.

I am the official stalker of John Lampe.

/end.

riotsiren @ 2005-07-02T05:30:00

2005-07-02T12:32:18Z

It's always the older ones that seduce me
and the younger ones that enthrall me.

I ran into my exboyfriend at the hookah bar. It brought back some nice and some painful memories. Unfortunately for me, he looked a lot happier than I've felt in quite sometime.

I've never wanted to talk with some one so much.

I am Jack's Utter Confussion.

riotsiren @ 2005-06-26T16:04:00

2005-06-26T23:08:51Z

I am addicted to that fucking hookah bar.

I enjoyed meeting Brea and Thomas. Very nice people indeed. Tyler likes to steal salt shakers. This amuses me.

I need to stop groping anything that comes my way.

I'm also not allowed to quote Fight Club anymore.

riotsiren @ 2005-06-21T12:19:00

2005-06-21T19:30:56Z

Motherfucking cocksucker motherfucking shit fucker what am I doing? What am I doing? I don't know what I'm doing. I'm doing the best that I can. I know that's all I can ask of myself. Is that good enough? Is my work doing any good? Is anybody paying attention? Is it hopeless to try and change things? The African guy is a sign, right? Because if he isn't, than nothing in this world makes any sense to me. I'm fucked! Maybe I should quit. Don't quit! Maybe I should just fucking quit. Don't fucking quit! I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to fucking do anymore! Fucker! Fuck shit!

I am Jack's colon.
I get cancer, I kill Jack.

riotsiren @ 2005-06-20T11:30:00

2005-06-20T18:36:00Z

My, oh my. I hope my kids never do the shit I pull.

Hide and seek with semen isn't a good game to play.

I am Jack's inflamed sense of reason.

riotsiren @ 2005-06-19T10:36:00

2005-06-19T17:45:01Z

I have so much I want to write, but I don't have the words nor the heart to do it.

I've never had the heart to begin with.

I need to stop finding comfort in drugs.

Watching terrible tv
It kills our thoughts
Getting spacier than
An astronaut
Making out with people
I hardly knew a lot.
I can’t believe what I do
Late at night

I wanna know what it’s like
On the inside of love
Standing at the gates,
I see the beauty above

Only when we get to see
The aerial view
Will the patterns show
We’ll know what to do
I know the last page so well
I can’t read the first
So I just don’t start
It’s getting worse

I wanna know what it’s like
On the inside of love
I’m standing at the gates
I see the beauty above

I’m on the outside of love
Always under or above
I can't find my way in
I try again and again

I'm on the outside of love
Always under or above
Must be a different view
To be a me with a you

I wanna know what its like
On the inside of love
I'm standing at the gates
I see the beauty above

I wanna know what its like
On the inside of love
Of course i’ll be alright
I just had a bad night
I had a bad night

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

riotsiren @ 2005-06-16T23:06:00

2005-06-17T06:23:25Z

I haven't slept in over 24 hours. I don't have the urge to sleep, I don't have the urge to do anything.

I went to the Beale Library today, and watched the sunset in my car and read my Invisible Monsters. I was waiting for my aunt to get off the Amtrak, and what I saw was beautiful. A couple, reunited. They embraced, both were crying and hugging like they never have before. I think I'm going to go to the station once a week, and watch the rare beauty in humanity I've never experienced.

I am Jack's wasted life.

riotsiren @ 2005-06-14T15:27:00

2005-06-14T22:31:05Z

i don't feel the love anymore.

i am jack's broken heart.

riotsiren @ 2005-06-05T22:30:00

2005-06-06T05:33:37Z

Tanya and I like to dance in the middle of the street infront of Mormon houses.

Take that Utah.

riotsiren @ 2005-05-29T14:54:00

2005-05-29T21:59:32Z

thanks to the lovely sean i figured out how to do

fuck yes. yes i did.

i was thinking of starting to use my ellejay again. hmm.

riotsiren @ 2005-05-16T17:38:00

2005-05-17T00:39:07Z

im loaded as fuck
and shooting stars
with my gun.

bang bang.

riotsiren @ 2005-04-17T13:29:00

2005-04-17T20:30:30Z

i hate everyone and everything.

except vicodin.

riotsiren @ 2005-04-05T21:41:00

2005-04-06T04:45:16Z

So I hope that you're impressed
I did it all for you
It's the best that I could do
A little song and dance
Can have its consequences
It's the best that I can do
To sit around the phone
The patience waits for you
This is the best that I can do
This is the best that I can do...

I sweat it out for hours on end
For an end so obviously predetermined

i think i may have already screwed up the best thing that may have ever happened to me.

riotsiren @ 2005-04-03T02:55:00

2005-04-03T09:55:31Z

Yeah, this layout is pretty badass.

Love,
Tyler James Fleenor.

riotsiren @ 2005-04-02T01:21:00

2005-04-02T09:24:02Z

i am a fucking idiot.

who leaves her and trevwhore's tickets in her car?
who loses the keys IN the car?

that'd be me!!!!!

today was good. sin city is awwwwweeesssoome. good times. i had a blast. i love sarah. i love trevwhore. i love tanya. i love "my sweetie". good times all around. a round of drinks for everybody!! hoohah!

"the baby" is the best thing to ever happen to me. hahaha.

tomorrow only brings better times. oh and trevwhore, watch out. tanya thinks you're hot.... :D lolololol.

asfhalskjfhlaskj.

riotsiren @ 2005-03-30T15:45:00

2005-03-30T23:50:40Z

i know a girl with the golden touch.

i'm away.
he's away.
i come back.
he's back.
i don't talk to him.
he's not talking to me.

why are things so fucked up right now?

because i'll never do the things that they wish that i could do so well.and you could have it all if you wanted, boy. you could have it all if it matters to you.

I just can't listen to the words of fools
I don't give away too much
Someone will need your golden touch

Because all they know is how to put you down
When you're there, they're your friend
And then when you're not around
They say, "Oh, she's changed"..

you know what that means.

riotsiren @ 2005-03-29T19:42:00

2005-03-30T03:45:05Z

i have dreams that would make larry flint blush.